The Accountant (2016)

We know from the poster that the titular accountant is a bit more than that; but even the alternative title The Autistic Assassin could have been more interesting than yet another middle-aged-guy-with-guns thriller we get by Act Three.

What begins as a promising drama of an autistic man with a troubled upbringing, Christian Wolff (double-f, presumably in sheep’s clothing, ha-ha) has Ben Affleck (BvS:DoJ, Gone Girl), pitching for Rain Man accolades. But his fledgeling romance with Anna Kendrick’s office worker soon descends into ho-hum action cliché. At least it’s not Taken or Costner’s Criminal enterprise.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)

It’s a bit late to tell you to see this on a big screen, but don’t let that stop you with the DVD, Blu-Ray or subscription; the latest from the J.K. Rowling Potter-verse is beautiful, thrilling, charming and delightfully eccentric; a knowingly commercial New York outing soaked in magical Britishness. And yes, the beasts are fantastic. So is Eddie Redmayne.

An aside from Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, authored by the brilliantly named Newt Scamander (Redmayne), launches into a new Potter-verse trilogy. It’s graduate-level Potter for the growing fan generation that’s also garnering new young fans with further wizarding adventures.

Beauty and the Beast (2017)

I know; but the original is my young lady’s favourite animation as a kid, so we went to see it. Which begs the question: when there’s so much CGI on screen, including Dan Stevens’ beastly face, can you really consider this remake ‘live action’?

When it’s all just an excuse for uber-cynical Disney to wring more money from old properties, it’s even harder to give a fig for singing household utensils, however well Emma Watson flags her feminist credentials.

And as for the alleged ‘gay moment’, I barely noticed. But then I used to live in Brighton… get over it, people. Josh Gadd is camp as Christmas as LeFou, but no worse than C3PO or any number of other comedy sidekicks.

Logan (2017)

This altogether grown-up last outing for Hugh Jackman’s be-clawed anti-hero is bloody, sweary, extremely violent and shamelessly hammers home its’ Western roots, not only quoting from, but playing the finale of Shane. Jackman’s Wolverine, however, is stamped from the same Clint Eastwood mould as Unforgiven, and is his best performance in years.

With Patrick Stewart (X-men) in superb form as the ailing Professor Xavier, the trio of fugitives is rounded out by astonishing newcomer Dafne Keen as a ten-year-old mutant killing machine with claws…

On the run from assorted military bad guys, it’s an existential road trip to consider life, love, guilt, family and above all, redemption, as director James Mangold (3-10 to Yuma, Knight and Day) casts an Indie cloak over a comic-book juggernaut.

Jurassic World (2015)

Dino-franchise Jaws-with-Claws continues to repeat itself with a basic remake of Jurassic Park on a grand scale. You can more or less tick off scene-for-scene as the excuse for ever more spectacular CGI dino-porn trumps any attempt at wit or originality. No mistake, the technical achievement of life-like dinosaurs is stunning and you get an awful lot of dino for your money – which is all this thing is interested in – your money.

It’s a well-worn formula of Irwin Allen dino-disasters in the dino-resort gone horribly wrong, yet again, as two adults and two kids try not to get eaten by the escaped, genetically modified uber-rex. Some wag decided in a script meeting to give a character the pitch-line for the movie “we need more teeth” as actual dialogue…

Assassin’s Creed (2017)

Video game adaptations vary from adequate to awful; who are they aimed at? The players? They’re playing. The non-players? It’s just another production-line action movie to us. There’s no question Justin Kurzel’s (Macbeth) Assassin’s Creed pulls off a technical tour-de-force, using live action where possible to render the rooftop, parkour set-pieces; and the action is top-drawer. But as a story, is it any good?

Assassins versus Templars in a time-spanning tale of genetic memory across five hundred years, with the worst McGuffin in movies, it’s all an excuse for run, jump, dive, kick, punch, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab; and repeat. Only the star power of Fassbender and Cottillard treating it like their earlier MacBeth collaboration keep it on the rails.

Spotlight (2015)

2016’s Best Picture Oscar winner is a well-executed, if rather old-fashioned, rendering of the real-life Boston Globe campaign to expose abusive Catholic priests. A top-notch cast does its’ best to breath life into a well-worn trope; crusading journalists chasing down an elusive story in the face of an institutional conspiracy of silence in the heavily Catholic ‘village’ that is Boston.

It’s a fine contemporary (2010-12) ensemble drama that feels like a 1970’s period piece in tone and style. Unfortunately the script never quite delivers on the promise of an All the President’s Men to become something altogether more pedestrian.