Kiwi Western The Stolen boldly goes where The Searchers, The Missing and Lonesome Dove have gone before, and despite a couple of good tense set-pieces, plods like a flat TV filler.
When her husband is murdered by ex-convict workers who then kidnap her baby, genteel British immigrant Charlotte Lockton (Alice Eve – Star Trek), goes in pursuit to wild frontier Gold Town. Cue general misogyny, battery, violence and abuse on gold-rush New Zealand’s wild frontier. Yep, it’s that kind of Western. Continue Reading
An adaptation of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower fantasy-western-sci-fi-horror series so perfunctory that four hours after I watched it I’d forgotten what I’d seen; generic fantasy with a high gloss finish that reduces the King novels to a mercifully brisk genre romp with good performances and no new ideas to speak of.
Young Jake Chambers has nightmares of a dark tower, a gunslinger and a Man in Black, while New York suffers increasing earthquakes. Except they’re not nightmares, and the Man in Black is a sorcerer trying to destroy the actual Dark Tower that keeps the demons from our universe. And the gunslinger is… a gunslinger. With six-guns made from Excalibur. No, really. Continue Reading
When three homesteaders’ wives suffer mental breakdowns in the harsh environment of Nebraska’s Old West, plain spinster Cuddy (Hilary Swank) volunteers to take them back East, relying on dissolute drifter Mr Briggs (Tommy Lee Jones) to guide them through hostile landscapes peopled by native American tribes and other greedy settlers.
A bleak, revisionist, Western odyssey filled with lost and lonely characters trying to find their place in the world, this character-driven drama erupts into shocking violence in a savage and uncaring land. Continue Reading
A Scotsman and an Irishman go to the Wild Frontier – it’s not the start of a joke, it’s Slow West, a low-budget meander through the bleak Wild West. Fassbender’s lone gun-slinger Silas befriends Kodi Smit-McPhee’s love-lorn Scottish laird, Jay. But the girl he’s pursuing has a price on her head and there’s a gang of outlaws after the reward money. Will the immigrant odd couple get to her before they do? And what is Silas’ motive for helping?
Sundance-winning Slow West has epic New Zealand standing in for the epic landscapes of the Old West, and despite nods to old Westerns of bank robbers, bounty hunters, men with no name and fewer words, this is an altogether more complex, European-inflected affair. Continue Reading
How does a film from the team that created the huge hit Pirates of the Caribbean’fail at the box office?
Here’s how: take a children’s radio and TV Western adventure series and remake it, cram in a mix of styles that don’t match, rack up an extraordinary level of violence, amorality and gore and add cannibalism, prostitution and a random threat of rape and you end up with a film that doesn’t know who its audience is.
It’s presented as a tale told to a child by a disconcerting Old Tonto at a 1930s sideshow, but one moment it’s ‘don’t take it seriously, do it all tongue in cheek’ – then the next, there’s a gross scene reminiscent of ‘Soldier Blue’. Continue Reading
No, I am not going to give Tarantino the satisfaction of quoting his full, childishly immature, mis-spelt title. It’s bad enough I sat through his childishly immature World War II comic-book pantomime.
Here’s a talented director, as proven by Reservoir Dogs and the under-valued masterpiece Jackie Brown. So why can’t he keep a script or his direction on the rails? As for this attempt to re-invent the WWII movie as a pulp comic-book, I just despair. Continue Reading
“I know, let’s put James Bond and Indiana Jones together in one of those genre mash-up movies. It’ll make a fortune.”
The cynical desperation of this dumb idea is not the surprise. The surprise is that anyone signed off the $150m cheque to make it. You thought Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a dumb idea? Shakespeare, compared to this.
Humourless Harrison Ford mumbles his grumpy way through bad dialog like he’s counting down the days toward death, while a badly miscast Daniel Craig is the cleanest, suave-est Western bandit you’ve ever seen. They both pick up fat cheques whilst staring blankly at a bunch of green-screen special effects while Favreau blows a lot of s*** up.
And I wrote that part of the review before I even saw the movie. Continue Reading