Next up on the big franchise conveyor belt; another wearisome and unwanted slice of pointless dino-porn.
Once again, some greedy half-wits decide to go back to the dino-disaster-park and bring back specimens in the most reckless, half-assed and incompetent way possible. I’ll give you one guess what happens next.
Like all the Jurassic Somethings’, this is a top-notch production, beautifully rendered and choreographed in landscapes, creatures, chases, human and dino-escapes, on land, sea and air. It’s just repetitive, dull and a bit flat… packed. Like somebody got really expensive models out of a giant cereal packet and decided to play Jurassic Thingummy’s Greatest Hits on Mom’s kitchen floor. Like the Star Wars movies.
Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas-Howard return as the charismatic (and hard-working) dino-chasing couple, but keep reminding everyone how much more bad-ass they were in the first Jurassic World. James Cromwell substitutes for Dickie Attenborough as the original dino-scientist but sadly isn’t on screen enough. Ted Levine is this instalment’s Bad White Hunter doing That Ted Levine Thing. Mandatory Brit bad guy Rafe Spall is largely wasted as Mills, a non-entity, aping the principal baddie in JP-3.
Jeff Goldblum tops-and-tails as Dr Ian Malcolm at a Senate hearing, blathering on about the Genetic Genie being out of the bottle. He should probably be reminding them that Chaos Theory isn’t a description of how many ways reincarnated dinosaurs can escape from captivity.
Having blown up the Jurassic island with a massively underwhelming volcano, back at Cromwell’s house, Toby Jones does one of his slimey comedy villains as it all goes wrong. Again.
Save the dinosaurs! Let them go extinct (again)! Do that rooftop chase from Paddington! Give us a cuddly velociraptor!
Gimme a break.
It’s fine, but as Dr Malcolm would probably tell you, before Chaos Theory was the Law of Diminishing Returns. RC
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Director: J.A. Bayona
Writers: Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly
Genre: Sci-fi, Adventure
Running time: 129 minutes
Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas-Howard, James Cromwell, Ted Levine, Jeff Goldblum, Damiella Pineda, Justice Smith, B. D. Wong, Toby Jones, Rafe Spall, Geraldine Chaplin, Isabella Sermon